Professionally skeptical and eternally academic

I figure it’s about time that I explain what I mean by these two titles. They do mean something, it just requires a little bit of critical analyses to figure out exactly what.

When I say professionally skeptical I mean I’m skeptical, as in when somebody says they’re late because they ran out of gas, I don’t automatically believe them. “Oh I just lost track of time, I…,” whatever, I don’t want to listen anymore; they lost me at the first comma. “My dog ate my homework,” “I was sick,” I am not buying it and what’s more: it’s just boring.

Get me something original like “my little sister used it to stuff her bra.” I’m probably not going to believe that either, but I’d rather have a good laugh and it would buy a student a little leniency.

Seriously though, I research almost everything. I say almost because every now and then something slips through the cracks. I’m not completely convinced until I’ve looked at an issue from every angle, and even then if I get new information, well…

Eternally academic, that one isn’t hard either. I don’t think you will ever hear me say that I don’t need to know something, I’d like to die very old and in a bed asleep, having breathed my last to the sound of a talented orator reading a textbook on an unfamiliar subject.

Even if multiple sclerosis leaves me bedridden and gasping for breath in my final moments, I want someone to put the headphones on my head and know that one of my oldest and most important desires has been fulfilled.

Now I need to get up and walk away; those aren’t the things I want to think about, but it is a horrific possibility.

The Disabled Scholar

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